Fakeout Makeouts Ain't Got Nothing On Us
by BJA Fan
Summary: [Slight Danny Phantom crossover, RaeBB] Raven doesn't watch cartoons. But when she gets suckered in to staring at the idiot box with Beast Boy, she finds a fictional character's plight similar to her own...


**Damn…don't know where this idea came from, but when it did it slammed into me like an eighteen-wheeler and almost smashed me flat to the ground and turned me into a pancake. Only figuratively, of course, or else I wouldn't be able to post this. :p**

**This story is dedicated to Danny Phantom fans out there who think Sam is the one for Danny! (I probably just blew the plot line right then and there.)**

**Pairings: Raven/Beast Boy, slight Danny/Sam**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or any of the other shows mentioned in this fic.

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I don't usually watch cartoons. I find them childish and idiotic, especially the Saturday morning kind Beast Boy is obsessively attracted too. They whole lot of them are loud, insipid wastes of animation funds and would do well to be canceled and replaced by something worthwhile that deserves more attention. 

Of course, being the lucky girl I am (note the sarcasm here), my teammates are also strangely attracted to these ridiculous cartoons. Starfire finds the antics of Sylvester and Tweety "satirically adorable (her words, not mine)," Cyborg thinks the girls from Totally Spies are "hot (although I find it disconcerting he could be attracted to animated bodies, no matter how curvy they are)," and even our fearless leader has fallen prey to the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, believe it or not.

And Beast Boy…how should I say this? He watches everything: Juniper Lee, Tom and Jerry, Pokémon, heck, even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles—he'd sit in front of the TV, drool gathering on a corner of his mouth, eyes glued to the screen. I even timed it—he blinked on an average of once every three minutes.

Usually, no one bothered me over cartoons. They knew I didn't watch them and thought them to be useless and idiotic, and left me alone ever since the first time I refused to join them in their animation viewing. Such was the case in many of the "fun" things they partook in. I had better things to do…like stare out the window, read, or meditate, just to name a few.

Of course, every now and then, one of them (mostly Beast Boy) would manage to be annoying enough to convince me to do something I would rather not participate in. Many times I've been suckered into various activities this way, be it a rambunctious party, a picnic, or a visit to the beach.

Anyway, one Wednesday afternoon, after nearly an hour of begging and pleading from a certain green changeling, I found myself slumped over the couch, half-heartedly watching cartoons with Beast Boy. Of all the ways to waste a good Wednesday afternoon…

But I'm cynical, not cruel, so as not to make Beast Boy feel bad, I feigned interest and monotonously asked, "So…what's this called again?"

"Danny Phantom," he replied shortly, eyes never once leaving the screen. Once again we lapsed into a dull, lagging silence. I fiddled around with the hem of my cloak, bored. Observing the television, for the first time today, actually, my attention was briefly caught by the colorful drawings and animation. A skinny boy with black hair wearing a white T-shirt was talking to two other teenagers, presumably his friends. I zoned out again, yawning and propping my elbow on the armrest.

The theme song started to play, and I have to admit that it was pretty catchy, with a good color scheme—yes, I'm implying that it was "pretty cool," even though I usually don't use slang. I paid brief attention to it, before I lost my concentration again. Dear Azar, I could be doing a million other useful things now, and I was stuck watching…_this _with Beast Boy.

As Garfield (the overweight cat, not my teammate) once said, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and I gave another stab at starting a conversation.

"…Beast Boy, what's this cartoon about?" Not that I really cared, of course, but it's better to know than to flounder around wondering what the heck was going on.

The commercials came on, and Beast Boy finally paid attention to things outside of the idiot box for a minute. "Uh…there's this fourteen year old, and his parents are obsessed with catching ghosts—"

"Ghosts?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. What the hell were cartoon animators on these days?

"Yeah, ghosts. They built this portal to the ghost zone, but it didn't work. Then their kid Danny started messing around with it, got shocked, and ended up half ghost."

"Ah, the 'I got my superpowers after a lab accident' story," I said. "A typical beginning for most superheroes."

For a lack of anything better to say, we went back to staring at the TV. Thankfully, Beast Boy's show came back on a few seconds later.

Despite my subconscious protests, I was drawn in to the plot line. This show actually surpassed "mediocre" on my internal scale, and I was slowly, grudgingly starting to pay attention to it. This was one of those mushy romance episodes—I never really cared for those, but this had irony and satire in it, and some parts were actually quite amusing. I was fascinated by Sam—gothic, sarcastic, and fiercely independent, she had an obvious crush on Danny. Well, obvious to anyone besides the lovebirds.

Yet for some reason, Danny never noticed her. She was always the second girl in his eyes. Instead, he was chasing after a girl named Valerie. This I could not understand—what did Valerie have that Sam didn't? Yes, his feelings for Valerie might've been easier to figure out, but wasn't Valerie unknowingly trying to destroy his secret ghost side? Meanwhile, Sam was just tossed aside, forced to hid her feelings when it was clear that every time she saw the couple together, it was tearing her apart…

_Sound like someone else we know?_

I groaned. What a great time for the voices in my head to act up…literally.

**Be quiet, Happy, **I muttered. **I'm trying to watch TV.**

An obnoxious giggle echoed around my mind. _Someone's in denial, _Happy chirped hyperactively in a singsong voice.

**Oh, shut it, **I snapped. Then, more to myself (again, literally), **I'm never analyzing cartoon characters again. **

Another obnoxious giggle was heard before everything was quiet again. Except, as my eyes unfocused, Valerie's figure suddenly turned…blonder, taller, and skinnier with large, deceiving blue eyes. Danny contorted, skin changing green, hair growing shorter and spikier. And Sam, hidden in the shadows, spying from a bush, dark and forgotten, grew grayer. Her hair changed into a dark violet, purple eyes flashing with well-hidden jealousy…

"—ven? Raven? Yoo-hoo, y'there?" I blinked as a gloved hand waved in front of my face. Beast Boy swam into view, and I stretched and rubbed my eyes. "Kinda zoned out there for a second, I thought your elbow was gonna fall and you were gonna smash your face on the armrest or something. Heheheh."

I rubbed the back of my neck lazily and leaned back on the couch. The question popped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Why does Danny like Valerie?"

Beast Boy blinked, more out of shock than anything. "Dude, you were actually paying attention to the story line?"

I waived it aside impatiently. "Yes, well, there was nothing else to do. Tell me, since you're an expert on this show, why does Danny like Valerie when everyone knows that Sam's right there for him? Why does Sam get shoved aside?"

"Well, uh…"

"Don't you feel sorry for her?" I interrupted pointedly. "I mean, Danny's so caught up with Valerie that he doesn't notice how hurt Sam is, and how jealous she is. It's all Te—um, Valerie this, and Valerie that, and I—er, Sam is probably sick of it!" Flustered at my near slips, I quickly covered them up. Hopefully, Beast Boy wouldn't notice. Or, even more hopefully, Beast Boy _would _notice and make the connections. He'd see the barely noticeable points I had been trying to make. Hopefully.

Beast Boy looked thoughtful, then brightened when he suddenly seemed to understand something. "Maybe…" he said thoughtfully, choosing his words carefully for once. "Maybe…Danny _does _like her. Maybe Valerie's just a short infatuation. He _should _notice Sam more. He should appreciate her more." He cleared his throat nervously and gave a dry laugh. Then, out of the blue, "Um…I—I'm thankful that you're there, Raven. I'm sorry I shoved you aside when Terra came." Quickly, as if he was sure he'd lose his nerves soon, he leaned over awkwardly and pecked me hastily on the lips. I blinked in amazement, slowly touching the edge of my mouth where he kissed me.

"Um…uh…s-sorry," he stammered nervously. "It's just…I thought you were implying that…uh…a-and…" I smiled and before he could relax I planted my lips over his once again, this time in a much more confident kiss. He just sat there, unmoving, for a long time with a dazed, I'm-on-a-high expression. I was half considering to start waving my hand in front of his face.

Then he finally spoke. "Wow…fake-out make-outs have _nothing _on that!"

"Huh…?"

"Um…never mind."

I cracked another small smile. "We…should definitely watch cartoons more often."

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**Looking back, this was kind of cheesy…**


End file.
